BB DVD Review: Night Watch

Crazy gibberish. Russian style.






If Night Watch were a homeless person, it would be the scary kind that stalks around threateningly, carrying a 'The End Is Nigh' sign and a thousand yard stare. However the important to thing to remember about this particular brand of bum is that they still root around in the bins the same as the rest. Now that's a very confused metaphor but I defy you to come with anything more sensible after two hours of 200% proof former-Soviet lunacy. Watching this movie was like having a really loud annoying guy telling you that this drink he's about to buy you is the best thing you've ever tasted then, two hours and one headache later, he fucks off without buying you it. Ooh, that's another awful metaphor. I think this movie has warped my fragile little mind.

There are times when a film-maker should be praised for his ambition. It's admirable when people reach for the stars or their reach exceeds their grasp or there's another cliche involving reaching. There is, after all, no shame in glorious failure. However if the balance runs something like 95 percent ambition to 5 percent actual content then we have a problem. Night Watch is a movie that promises much. There's lots of myth-building guff about the forces of light and the forces of dark and the eternal war and all that malarkey but we don't see any of it. There's a scuffle in a toilet, a bit of shouting on a roof and the smallest battle on the smallest bridge in movie history. So little happens it beggars belief. By all accounts there is a sequel in the works (a trilogy even) as this one made a fair bit of money in its native Russia, so there's a chance that subsequent entries may have the scale to match the scope. This one certainly doesn't. Lesson of the day kids, don't make a huge scale Sci-Fi/Fantasy epic if you have a Woody Allen budget.