Bigger Boat Reviews

BB Comic Reviews: 19/4/07

2007-04-24T14:01:00.000+01:00

THE BURTON AWARD (Best Of The Week)

Ultimate Spider-Man #106. Bendis, Bagley &Hennesey.

In the last couple of years, Ultimate Spidey has struggled to maintain the high standard it set over the first 50 or so issues. From the Venom saga on, Bendis and co. seemed to lose their way, ultimatizing character after character and forgetting the main reason for the book's success - Peter Parker himself. It's been said before, but the reason Spiderman is one of the most successful comic book characters of all time is his relatability. Peter Parker is one of us; a geeky kid who, as Bendis himself described so eloquently, 'fell backwards into some powers'. For a while there, this seemed to be forgotten in the rush to introduce Ultimate Carnage, Ultimate Deadpool et al. However with the Ultimate Clone saga and now this Ultimate Knights arc, Peter Parker and his life are right at the forefront again and the book is all the better for it. Though this issue does have Ultimate Ronin (imagine a retching noise right about here) it makes up for it with the continuing triangle between Peter, Kitty and Mary Jane. Not to mention a Kingpin-featuring final page cliffhanger that Brain K. Vaughn (the samurai/jedi master of the back of the book jaw dropper) would be proud of. Bendis has said that he's got Ultimate Spidey stories in him for years to come and as long as they're more like this and less like Ultimate Carnage we have a lot to look forward to. It should also be mentioned that Bagley's work on this, his last arc after 100-odd issues, is as good as anything he's done on the title before. The bar been set very high for incoming artist Stuart Immomen. Let's hope he's got a ladder, artistically speaking.

Justice League Of America #8. Meltzer, Davis & Banning.

Like any good comic geek, I loves me a team-up. When that team-up happens to include two teams from two of the best books DC is currently producing (some of the only good books DC is producing if you listen to some) then that's nothing but gravy. And tasty gravy it is my friends. For a start, this issue is chock full of the kind of cross-team character interaction between the J's LA and SA that makes a grown man who still buys toys (they're collectibles!!) whoop with delight - from a blindfolded Mr Miracle (he's the world's third smartest man you know) playing Green Lantern and Black Canary at chess to Batman and Power Girl discussing first editions. Then there's the set-up. Seven members of the Legion of Super Heroes are stuck in the past with no idea of their real identities and the teams have to (yes!) split up and go and get them It's the stuff of really, really messy comic book wet dreams. On art, we have Shane Davis - recently wheeked from the lower leagues of Mystery In Space and thrown under the spotlight of 'DC's biggest selling book - and he does a fine job. His art is not a million miles away from previous artist Ed Benes but if I was forced to choose (say if you stood over my Uncanny #350 with a lit match) then I would go with Davis as his stuff is just a little bit cleaner than Benes. Writer Brad Meltzer took a lot of abuse for his overuse of captions in his first arc but he reigns it in somewhat here and does a good job of juggling the swollen cast. Actually that sounds kind of nasty. Let's try bulging instead. Bulging cast. Anyhoo, he also gets extra geek credit for having a face-off between Batman and the Legion's Karate Kid which is immensely pleasing in a I'm-a-five-year-old-who-would-win-in-a-fight-between-Superman-and-The-Hulk kind of way. The answer's The Hulk by the way. Or is it...?

BB DVD Review: Thank You For Smoking

2007-04-16T01:49:00.000+01:00

Morally reprehensible righteousness. No, I have no idea how they did it either.

The Plot: Fast-talking lobbyist Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart) fights the not-so-good fight for big tobacco. But with his son starting to pay attention to what dad does for a living and an anti-smoking Senator (William H Macy) and an attractive reporter (Katie Holmes-Cruise-Scientology) on his case, can he make it to the church on time (metaphorically)?

In the words of that guy from South Park whose name I can't remember, 'Smoking's bad m'kay' (don't you just love my on-point pop culture references?). But how bad is it really? That's one of the many questions posed by this slick black comedy from first-time helmer Jason Reitman. Yes, that's Reitman as in son-of-director-Ivan but it could be worse - he could be Jason Scorcese. Plus it's been a long time since his dad made a decent movie. Yes, Evolution was kind of fun but I think even the most weak-kneed Duchovny fan (i.e my girlfriend) would have to admit people only liked it because if you squinted your eyes you could almost pretend it was Ghostbusters 3. Anyhoo, the point, if there even is one, is that Reitman has some moderately sized (albeit shrinking with every subsequent film) shoes to fill. So just how big are his directorial feet?

Pretty damn big is the metaphor stretching answer. Mixing the comedic and the thought-provoking in equal measure, Thank You For Smoking is a grown-up funny flick for all of us who enjoy our big-boy pants. Aaron Eckhart steals the show as the suave but morally questionable Naylor - making a character that would be a villain in 99 out of a 100 Hollywood efforts seem likeable and (almost) heroic. It's a great performance, and one that Christopher Nolan clearly watched before signing up Eckhart for the role of Two-Face in his upcoming Bat-sequel Dark Knight (is it 2008 yet?!!). It's far from a one-man show however as Reitman assembles a wet dream of a cast that includes William H Macy, Robert Duvall, Maria Bello, Rob Lowe, J.K Simmons, David Koechner and the mighty Sam Elliot. All of whom clearly signed on based on a screenplay (adapted from Christopher Buckley's novel by Reitman himself) that's almost Communist in his dedication to dolling out good lines to all and sundry.

If a criticism can be made, it's that, much like it's protagonist, Thank You For Smoking talks a good game but never really provides any answers. The film builds to a confrontation between Naylor and the Senator but when it comes it's a bit of a letdown. The former just about comes out on top but his victory is more of a judge's decision than the Mr Smith Goes To Washington full-blooded knockout you would hope for. It's probably a more fitting ending given the material but that doesn't stop it being disappointing from a dramatic point of view.

Other Things I Liked...

Naylor's get togethers with his compatriots in the alcohol and firearms industry. The interplay between Eckhart, Bello and Koechner characters is great and provides some of the movie's best lines.

The lack of a character arc. Flying in the face of Hollywood convention, the main character doesn't realise the error of his ways and has learned almost nothing by the movie's end. Brilliant!

BB DVD Review: Hollow Man 2

2006-09-17T16:27:00.000+01:00

Yes. I actually rented Hollow Man 2. Yes, I do have too much time on my hands.

The sequel that no one demanded has become something of a movement of late in the straight-to-DVD world. Indeed, the bottom shelf of Blockbuster, a place that many will tell you I spend entirely too much time, is now awash with unnecessary sequels to movies that didn't exactly scream 'franchise me' to begin with. From Carlito's Way:Rise To Power to Urban Legends 3:Bloody Mary (note the colons, colons = franchise) movie studios seem to regard brand recognition as a far more powerful selling tool than, say, originality or quality. The latest example of this is Hollow Man 2, a sequel to the 2000 Paul Verhoeven directed original that I didn't even know merited a sequel until Hollywood told me so.

In fairness, the invisible murderous man idea is more suited to most that the DTV merry-go-round offering plentiful opportunities for gore, nudity and inexpensive effects. So what do the director of Coronado (Claudio Fah) and the writer of Highlander:Endgame (Joel Soisson. Note the colon. Don't laugh) do with such ripe b-movie pickings? Not very much as it turns out...

Problem numero uno. A complete lack of suspense, shocks or scares. The original was far from a masterpiece but Verhoeven was accomplished enough to exploit the obvious capacity for tension and frights that the unseen assailant notion provides. It may not surprise you to learn that this is not a talent that Fah possesses. He does, however, possess the ability to direct an entire movie where the audience can't see the killer but still fail to give that same audience a single jolt. Now, since I have some idea how to do the former and no idea how to do the latter Fah maybe deserves some respect but the talent to leave an audience completely unmoved is not exactly an enviable one. Or an ideal one to have if you intend to direct movies for a living.

Problem numero two. A script so clunky you could use it to beat an invisible assassin to death. Shuddering under the weight of its many cliches (untrustworthy military, cop with a past) and bereft of even a single memorable line (unless you count 'death by cellphone' but since this is delivered straight I don't think it was supposed to be a joke) it's so unnecessary you could watch the entire movie on mute. The whole thing might even be more enjoyable that way.

Problem numero trois. Christian Slater. Now in the wild and lawless lands of the pointless franchise it is the name actor (of which there is normally only one) that we trust to take our hand and guide us through the wilderness like Jean Claude Van Damme in the movie Cyborg. We look at the box and say 'well at least [insert name here] is in it, they're normally quite good'. Not so Hollow Man 2. Christian Slater appears on screen for about 5 minutes in total and provides maybe an additional 10 of voiceover work (and I'm not entirely convinced it was him doing that). In fairness, he is supposed to be invisible but it's obvious they didn't ever bother to use him as the model for the computer effects. He was probably tired from all that acting...

In amongst the dross, there are some positives. An unexpected third-act turn livens things up a little and there's a climactic battle in the rain between invisi-folk that's reasonably well done but the film rarely rises above pointless for the majority of its run time - distinguishing itself from the original only in its lack of ambition and accomplishment.

Guns 'N' Roses. SECC Glasgow. 21/7/06

2006-07-22T12:45:00.000+01:00

Glasgow has waited a long time to see Guns 'N' Roses. No incarnation of the band has ever seen fit to stumble North of the border so there was a genuine air of excitement and nervous expectation at the SECC. Word was getting round of the drama at Newcastle and it seemed a fair few expected Axl not to turn up at all. And as 9pm came and went the nervousness and anticipation increased. We had been forewarned of course. The venue was liberally plastered with signs that the gig could, and indeed would run late. And anyone who reads this site knows that Axl comes to the stage whenever he feels like it. So as time ticked by and yet another AC/DC song came through the sound system there were mutterings, there were boos and more than one shout for Axl to 'get a fucking move on'. However, just after ten, the lights went down... and all fucking hell broke loose.

As the opening notes of Welcome To The Jungle rang out, and the siren-like wail we had waited so long to hear finally rang out, well... Glasgow went mental. The energy that had been building during the long, long, long wait for Axl and co. exploded as GNR fans old and new (from grey-haired guys in studded leather jackets to 13 year-olds in Nirvana hoodies) were jumping, stomping, clapping and singinG along to every word. Axl fuckin' Rose was onstage and it seemed Glasgow was going to give it everything from the get go, 'cos who knew how long we would actually get? Had we known the actual answer was two and a half hours perhaps it woud have been wise to conserve some energy but as the band segued into a pounding It's So Easy and followed it with a pyro-aided Live & Let Die such logical thought went right out the window. At our first breather a good-humoured Axl was quick to remind us of his Scottish roots - even treating us to a few lines of his god-awful Scottish accent! We then got our first taste of Chinese Democracy when the band launched into (a fairly well received) Better. Scattered pockets who clearly had access to newGNR.com were singing every word but the majority of the crowd got into it when that almighty riff got going.

All was proceeding swimmingly until just after eleven when, in what I can only describe as a gutless, pussy-ass joke of a maneuver, a fair sized number of people started to leave to catch their last bus and/or train! WTF!!?? This is supposed to be Rock 'N' Roll people! What's the likelihood of you ever getting the chance to see Axl Rose again? Surely that's enough of a reson to miss the bus and walk home? It was for me. Those who remained were in it for the long haul, but that didn't stop a few getting restless during one of the many, many jams and solo spots that littered the set. The Richards Fortus portion was well received, as was the Don't Cry invitation for a singalong, but honestly there was quite a but of unneccesary padding during the middle part of the show. It was during one such moment that crowd restlessness prompted Axl to deliver the great 'go catch a bus fuckhead' line.

Things got back on track with a sparkling version of Novermber Rain, countless MTV and VH1 replays having ensured mass participation during every note, and it was interesting to see the three guitarists sharing the solo's between them. Then came the moment we had all been waiting for. As soon as Axl said the words 'I would like to introduce' the crowd was already going ballistic. Ladies and gentlemen... Izzy fuckin' Stradlin!! And there he was. The man who wrote the tunes, the heart and soul of the original line-up, looking dapper and sharing a mic with Axl on Think About You, Nightrain and an unexpected and rapturously received I Used To Love Her. Now I love the new guys, especially the super cool Richard Fortus, but this was the highlight of the show for me as Izzy has always been a hero of mine.

There was still time for a great rendition of Madagascar, during which the crowd took a welcome breather and enjoyed the video that accompanies the song. This appeared to to be the same one that they used at the Leeds festival in 2002 but as that day I was a mile away from the screen I can't be sure. After that it was time to take a deep breath and surrender what little energy we had left to Axl and the gang for the traditional Paradise City big finish.

Did it live up to expectations? It did for the group I was with. The band sounded great, Axl's voice was unbelievable throughout and with two and a half hours we certainly got our money's worth. Minor quibbles aside - no Rocket Queen, a bit too much stalling for time and a paucity of Illusion-era material - for Glasgow it was certainly worth the wait. Long live Axl and long live Guns 'N' Fuckin' Roses.

BB DVD Review: Night Watch

2006-07-05T19:04:00.000+01:00

Crazy gibberish. Russian style.

If Night Watch were a homeless person, it would be the scary kind that stalks around threateningly, carrying a 'The End Is Nigh' sign and a thousand yard stare. However the important to thing to remember about this particular brand of bum is that they still root around in the bins the same as the rest. Now that's a very confused metaphor but I defy you to come with anything more sensible after two hours of 200% proof former-Soviet lunacy. Watching this movie was like having a really loud annoying guy telling you that this drink he's about to buy you is the best thing you've ever tasted then, two hours and one headache later, he fucks off without buying you it. Ooh, that's another awful metaphor. I think this movie has warped my fragile little mind.

There are times when a film-maker should be praised for his ambition. It's admirable when people reach for the stars or their reach exceeds their grasp or there's another cliche involving reaching. There is, after all, no shame in glorious failure. However if the balance runs something like 95 percent ambition to 5 percent actual content then we have a problem. Night Watch is a movie that promises much. There's lots of myth-building guff about the forces of light and the forces of dark and the eternal war and all that malarkey but we don't see any of it. There's a scuffle in a toilet, a bit of shouting on a roof and the smallest battle on the smallest bridge in movie history. So little happens it beggars belief. By all accounts there is a sequel in the works (a trilogy even) as this one made a fair bit of money in its native Russia, so there's a chance that subsequent entries may have the scale to match the scope. This one certainly doesn't. Lesson of the day kids, don't make a huge scale Sci-Fi/Fantasy epic if you have a Woody Allen budget.

BB DVD Review: The Hill Have Eyes

2006-07-05T15:12:00.000+01:00

An all American family on a road trip take a wrong turn in more ways than one in a 21st Century remake of the Wes Craven cult classic. There's gold in them their hills. Well not gold exactly, more like horrible bloody death but that doesn't scan quite as well... I'm not sure this is really deserving of italics.

I'n not very keen on the idea of visiting America. For all my obsession with the myriad outpourings of Americana the high proportion of zealots, maniacs and downright morons that seem to populate the place make it downright unappealing. If I ever do visit, however, you can be damn skippy I will be staying exclusively in high-population urban areas. Sure I may be mugged, car-jacked or gunned down in a drive-by but that seems to be a laugh-riot compared to what awaits in the wide open spaces - here there be toothless redneck monsters.

For much like the original, Deliverance and their countless other 'you aint from around here boy' cousins, The Hill Have Eyes confirms the very darkest fear of millions of concrete-cosseted urbanites - if there isn't a McDonalds with 10 miles prepare to be raped and/or mutilated. I would rather prance through Compton in a Klan outfit that ever go near a Maw and Paw style gas station in the middle of nowhere. At least with a pistol-packin' homey I have some basis for conversation (You like rap music? I like rap music...). In short, the toothless moonshine soaked rapist button is an easy one to push, so the question becomes how well does Switchblade Romance helmer Alexandre Aja push it?

The answer... fairly well. While not a rip-snorting success, the movie has enough new tricks and sadistic glee to avoid pointless remake status (The Fog and The Omen I spit in your general direction) and collapse in a huffing heap in the just-about-justified category. Most praiseworthy is its out and out commitment to an 18 certificate. This is fucking horror we're talking about here people! Far too many Hollywood produced frighteners pussy out and go for 15 (or god forbid) 12a ratings to try and get a few extra adolescent bums in seats to the detriment of both the film (horror without gore is like a hooker without herpes) and the audience (you ever tried to watch a movie in the company of some 15 year olds?). Not so this one. As with his debut effort Aja lays it on thick and clotted, just the way a geek with unresolved violent tendencies likes it. Our protagonists go through hell and a half at the hands of these hillbilly fucks and the director understands that come payback time they as characters, and we as an audience, need sweet bloody revenge. One could take the high ground and argue that it's cathartic for people to have an outlet for the fear and anger that modern society creates in us but that's horseshit. I need no reason to enjoy seeing someone getting a pickaxe in the eye other than it's inherently fuckin' cool. So cool in fact that we get to see it twice - now that's giving the people what they want.

However the claret cannot paint over all the cracks. There is no third-act disaster to match the aforementioned Switchbalde Romance (surely the most ludicrous twist in the history of film) but there are times when the film struggles. First-off, it's damn hard to create tension in the wide open spaces of the desert. The jumps and scares that this kind of horror relies on needs enclosed spaces, corners and shadows which are kind of hard to replicate when you can see for miles around. It's a problem the creators try to surmount with the addition (not in the original) of a bombed-out 1950's style town but the tension created here just serves to show how little there is in the rest of the movie. More of a problem, at least for someone who has seen as many horror movies as me, is the awesome, unwavering stupidity that the lead characters exhibit for the majority of their screen time. Now this is a problem in modern horror in general, not just here, and it's really starting to get on my tits. There's has to be a way to create dangerous situations that does not involve people blindly wandering about like headless fowl with a deathwish. Put the average person in a dangerous situation and they become more wary, more careful. They do not, repeat, do not wander into darkened pishin' corners wondering where that blood-curdling scream came from. It's an insult to our intelligence and it's lazy writing.

Other things I liked...

The design of the mutants was cool, especially the wheelchair bound tumour with a brain and the bowler-hatted droog-a-like. Though nothing any Hollywood make-up artist can concoct can match the sheer god-hewn horror of original mutant Michael Berryman's face.

The close-up on a broken set of glasses that may or may not be a homage to Peckinpah's Straw Dogs. The films do, after all, share a similar normal-folk-pushed-to-extremes theme.

Bloodthirsty Frenchies. Who knew? Must be all that half-cooked horseflesh.

Back Baby.

2006-04-21T23:15:00.000+01:00

I is back. It's been a while but my word-mangling ass has returned. I know it's been hard for some of you in my absence (well it has for Gav) but I plead them ol' extenuating circumstances. In March I moved from Edinburgh back to the big G(lasgow) and there has been a settling in period type of thing. However, now armed with my UGC card, an online Blockbuster account, a standing order with the good folks at A1 and a superfast broadband connection (feel by bandwith. FEEL IT!!) I stand at the precipice of a tidal wave of Stuff. Stuff of which I hope to regale you with astonishing, doesn't he have a life?, consistency. I shall begin again proper tomorrow (with a slight format change) but in the interim I've got the Faces blasting and I shall give you some things I have dug/have been digging in the time I have been away.

Taking up the biggest portion of my attention is THE HOWARD STERN SHOW. Had heard about the greatness of the man Stern from various Ameri-folk (Bendis goes on about him all the time) and had seen the movie Private Parts but had never heard the actual show. Well now, thanks to some kinds folks over by Torrentspy, I have been downloading his show and listening to it on the MP3 at the searing hellhole that is my work and - it's damn good. Howard, along with his cohorts Artie and Robin, makes the intolerable tolerable thanks to his great mix of seriousness and irreverence. One moment he can be fighting the good fight for speech, the next he can be making fart noises and the next theres a porn star riding the Sybian. It's great stuff and without it I may well have gone mad over the last month or so.

What else what else? Have been getting back into the habit of going to the movies. Have seen THE RINGER, V FOR VENDETTA, THE SQUID AND THE WHALE and SCARY MOVIE 4. The Ringer was bowel-liquefyingly awful. I like Johnny Knoxville and he can be great in the right movie (see Walking Tall) but it was just a confused mess. Mawkish where it should have been funny and pacifistic and pussy-out when it should have been going for the jugular. Scary Movie 4 was funny in places and like the third benefited from being in the capable hands of the Zuckers rather than the Wayans. I always enjoy the manic way they stitch the separate movie parodies into a shambling semblance of a cohesive plot and the Brokeback Mountain Lionel Richie gag was cracking. V for Vendetta wasn't as bad as it could have been but it was far from perfect. The first twenty minutes was boring, there was a distinct lack of spectacle and Natalie Portman's accent missed England by a few thousand miles and hit Nordic country. It was at it's best when it was closest to what Sir Alan of Moore wrote and I thought Portman's imprisonment/rebirth was done very well. However it is further proof that they should never, NEVER adapt the Watchmen. I really, really enjoyed The Squid and The Whale (despite being dragged to see it). The subject matter could hardly be more mundane but it was done in a bitter, caustic and unflinching way that made it riveting. Jeff Daniels was excellent in a role that basically required him to be an arsehole but I did feel that Laura Linney got short changed a little bit in comparison. The movie is nearly stolen outright by one of the lesser Baldwins (Adam I think) who has a hilarious cameo as a laid back tennis instructor.

Having signed up for the online DVD rental malarkey have also seen a fair few DVD's of stuff I missed at the pictures. Pick of the bunch was HUSTLE & FLOW. Everything about the movie was perfectly judged and Terence Howard is brilliantly charismatic as the trick whoopin' pimp. You have to love a movie that has you rooting for one of societies least likeable scumbags. Also saw THE PERFECT CATCH which was predictable, but amiable. It helps that it stars the loooooovely Drew Barrymore - who I have to marry by the time I'm 30 or I owe some people some money (really do need to get on with that). Whatelsewhatelse...? Got BROKEN FLOWERS which I was fairly disappointed by. The whole thing had a faint air of pointlessness and while it's great that Bill Murray's getting some respect it would be nice to see him play a memorable, larger-than-life character again. Like Big Ern... ("These kids sure got Munsoned"). My girlfriend forced the rental of KINKY BOOTS but I must admit it was fairly enjoyable in predictable Full Monty kind of way.

Musicwise there a couple of new things that have caught my fancy. BE YOUR OWN PET's self-titled debut has been getting a fair few spins and while I can't honestly say I would like them as much if they weren't fronted by a hottie, the combination of said hottie's skewed lyrics and frenetic delivery with guitar-heavy Ramones-short punk blasts is one that I do enjoy. Also loving NEKO CASE's Fox Confessor The Flood. Girl can sing. Delving into the back catalogues, I have discovered Neil Young and am diggin the shit out of After The Goldrush.

Starting to tire a bit but I should mention some TV stuff. Am keeping up with WEST WING (Leo's death floored me), LOST (as bewitching/maddening as ever) and SCRUBS (just very funny).

Will leave comics for tomorrow and I do promise I shall return tomorrow. Honest.

BB DVD Review: Sky High

2006-02-09T22:38:00.000Z

The Plot and Stuff - Super person in the making Will Stronghold heads to hero high and tries to live up to the legacy of his father The Commander (Kurt Russell). Bullies, chicks, crazy teachers and other assorted cliches stand in his way, will he make it to the prom on time? Well... yes.

Dispassionate reviewer mode definitely off for this one. Not so much a pleasant surprise as an outright shockaroonie, Sky High may will be the best movie this chump has seen all year. Now admittedly it's only February and said chump has been a little lax in his movie watching (only seen King Kong, Stealth, The Devil's Rejects and Four Brothers thusfar if you don't count watching Commando and Roadhouse for the nine thousandth time each) but it's still not a bad qualifier.

The 13 year old still alive and well inside of me loved, loved, loved this movie - though many would probably tell you he's not so much inside as behind the wheel and speeding recklessly. It is exactly the kind of wish fulfilling malarkey he/me would eat up with a soup spoon and come back for seconds. But how can a done-for-the-kids Disney movie score so high with a discerning reviewer such as yourself I hear you (all three of you) cry? Well. First of all the casting is excellent. Mr Jack Burton himself, Kurt Russell, is winningly earnest and goofy as Will's over-achieving father The Commander while the mighty Bruce Campbell is at his mugging best as the superhero PE teacher by way of Full Metal Jacket drill instructor Sonic Boom. As if that wasn't enough - and lord knows it is for this Evil Dead In Little China loving maniac - you also get Wonder Woman herself Linda Carter as the headmistress, Broken Lizard regular Kevin Heffernan as The Bus Driver and Mrs John Travolta herself Kelly Preston as Will's superhero mother Jetsream. That's not a bad selection for the price of your DVD rental (if you didn't download this for free you naughty naughty type - your funding terrorism, organized crime and baby eating don't you know?). The cast is helped by a savvy script that swaps the jocks v geeks dynamic of traditional scholastic fare for Superheroes v Sidekicks and manages the neat trick of being down with the kids rather than talking down to them. However, the main reason for Sky High's success it's spot on depiction of superheroics. As was the case with The Incredibles, the people behind the movie just flat out get what we love about comic book capes and put it right up there on the screen. It's always a thrill as a comic book fan when you see superpowers in live action and they match or supersede your expectations and you get plenty of that with this bad boy.

All of this is not to say that the movie is perfect. Comic book trimmings aside, this has the same plodding plot we've seen in just about every high school set flick ever made. You know the one, a vague variation on - new kid comes to school, new kid struggles to fit in and gets bullied/abused/looked down on by popular types, new kid bonds with other outsiders, new kid discovers a talent that brings popularity and all it's trappings, new kid's success goes to their head and they neglect the loveable outsiders until some last-minute soul searching forces them to see the error of their ways in time for a Prom-based finale. However, thanks to its charm and the talent and attention to detail of those involved, Sky High manages to outflank it's cliches and canter into the 'comic book movies that are actually good' winner's enclosure. Excelsior!

BB DVD Review: Four Brothers

2006-01-31T21:57:00.000Z

Tense, emotive and well-crafted, Four Brothers takes material that could be typical bottom shelf action movie fare and gives us something more than a few notches above. It tells the tale of the Mercer bro's and their quest for vengeance after the murder of their adoptive mother in a refreshingly frill-free way.

Credit first to director John Singleton who creates a multi-ethnic urban western set in the snowy wilds of Detroit that, while containing some good action set-pieces, is just as concerned with the emotions of the characters as it is with the havoc they create. There are times in his career where the director seemed to let the studio machinery drown out his voice (Shaft) but he turns that to his advantage here, keeping his work solid but unselfish and letting the story and the performances drive the movie. In turn Mark Wahlberg, Outkast's Andre Benjamin, Tyrese Gibson (2 Fast 2 Furious) and Garrett Hedlund (Friday Night Lights) do a fine job, creating a convincing, soulful camaraderie that makes it easier for the viewer to rationalize the often brutal acts of violence they dole out in pursuit of justice.

The film's greatest strength is its lack of pretension. Singleton set out to craft a compelling 90 or so minutes that tells the story in the most economical way possible and that's exactly what he achieves. Rare is the mainstream movie made these days with little in the way of bloat or blubber or without ideas above its station; so perhaps that is why it is so refreshing to find a movie so lean and flat out entertaining. It won't be appearing on anyone's best of list anytime soon but its the kind of movie that, when your flicking through the TV channels and you find it on, you'll watch it again even though you've seen it a dozen times before. And that's not to be sniffed at.

DVD EXTRAS: A commentary by Director John Singleton. Some decent if short featurettes on the look, the writing, the action and the bond between the four brothers. A number of deleted scenes, mainly character stuff to flesh out the brothers - no commentary but they were probably cut for reasons of space and pacing.

Bigger Boat Hall Of Fame #3

2006-01-24T02:01:00.000Z

BIGGER BOAT HALL OF FAME #3

PREACHER

Written by Garth Ennis

Art By Steve Dillon

Covers by Glenn Fabry

The best fiction is that which makes you yearn to be a part of it. You wish the characters were real, or failing that you wish you lived in their world. Preacher, Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon's modern western opus, is some of the very best fiction ever produced in any format. It is also the finest comic series ever put to paper. Over the course of 66 issues, it mixes sex, drugs, hellfire and heresy into a bad-ass moonshine of mythic proportions - along the way giving us a menagerie of misfits, grotesques and bastards that has to be seen to be believed. Our hero of the piece is Jesse Custer, a John Wayne lovin' Dotfo (Dude Of The First Order) who, upon receiving mystical powers decides to track down God and take him to task for the shitty world he has bequeathed us.

As an unsuspecting teen, I first stumbled across Preacher in the local library. Proud Americans (the third of the nine collected editions) sat there on the shelf like an unexploded bomb waiting to go off all over my adolescent consciousness. You see at this point I had only a passing familiarity with comics. A few X-Men issues here and there and the Judge Dredd collections also situated in my library had been my only exposure to the medium. As such I was ill prepared for something as rude, raucous and revelatory as Ennis and Dillon's baby. It had not entered mind to this point that comics could be this adult. Not just in the sense of the gore and the T&A - though Ennis' sick mind and Dillon's sicker pencils bring plenty of that to the party - but in terms of the thematic and the ideological. You see I had the misfortune to be raised a Catholic; not the flat out stupidest of the belief systems perhaps, but we must have been pretty near the back of the queue. And having also attended a Catholic primary school I was not accustomed at that point to asking to many questions. Black was black, white was white, heaven was up and hell was down. Preacher was one of my first introductions to the idea of grey area, that maybe everything I had been taught was not necessarily true. While it is not single-handedly responsible for my subsequent agnosticism/humanism it was one of the first things that made me raise my head above the parapet and take a look around.

But I digress. While it does pull no punches in it's take on the big man upstairs there is a lot more to Preacher than bothering the god-botherers. It's just as much about the nature of love, both platonic and romantic. The triangle between our straight-shootin' Texas hero Jesse Custer, feisty sexpot Tulip O' Haire and lovable Irish scumbag Cassidy allows Ennis to make some profound observations on the nature of male and female relationships. The character of Cassidy especially, nails the charming sociopath that we have all let into our lives at one point of the other. Forever turning a blind eye to their transgressions because 'he's such a good guy'. In fact, I befriended one after I had read Preacher about a hundred times and still never saw it coming until it was too late. The relationship between Jesse and Tulip meanwhile, is the kind of breathless all-or-nothing love affair that even the most misanthropic among us still secretly longs for. It never ceases to amuse me that in amongst the torture, sodomy and incest Preacher has the kind of romance that is normally the strict preserve of Mills and Boon and Meg Ryan.

Don't let all the seriousness and smoochy stuff fool you though, Preacher still packs enough fights, farts and boobies to enthrall the 13 year old in all of us. Steve Dillon proved himself to be the master of the sight gag over the series run, providing belly laughs throughout at the expense of head-swine and villain of the piece Herr Starr. To paraphrase Bill Hicks people will sit through and awful lot of philosophy and politics if you give them an occasional dick joke and there's some real crackers here. (It's out of context but my personal favourite includes the line "My cock is in this bitches mouth... And it's not in a good way").

So there you have it then. Violence, laughs, romance and horror all wrapped up in one big heretical package. It is, in short, the Poo. There are nine collections that cover the whole 66 issues and tie-in mini series and you can be damn skippy I don't consider your bookshelf complete without them. Hop to it Hoppy!

The Burton Award: 20/1/06

2006-01-20T02:05:00.000Z

A decent week for comics this week. But one comic bestrides the other like a particularly smug colossus (no not that one, the historical one). Cue...

THE BURTON AWARD: 20/1/06

INFINITE CRISIS #4

Written by Geoff Johns

Art by Phil Jiminez, George Perez and Ivan Reis

The arrival of yet another superlative issue of Infinite Crisis poses a pressing question for your humble reviewer. How exactly does one articulate a full-blown, underwear soaking geekgasm? I was tempted to try sound effects. 'Uggh' perhaps? 'Ooooh-Ah'? Or how about 'jozxkkk#!g'? Easy as that would make this, people will probably just think my keyboard is broken, or that I type with the same dexterity that I apply to my guitar playing. Let's try actual words instead. Suffice it to say, this issue will leave even the most suspecting reader more wrung out and in need of a change that a 12 year old girl at a combined Blue, Westlife, Backstreet Boys concert with Justin Timberlake headlining (he's so dreamy!). There shall be no spoilers here, because with this series more than any other you really do not want this stuff spoiled. However I will say that anyone who maybe felt that not enough happened in the first 3 issues will have little cause for complaint here.

Geoff Johns, Jedi-juggling master of continuity that he is, gives us not one, not two, but three full out jaw droppers in this issue. Which, for anyone counting, is officially three times more jaw droppers than the whole of House Of M combined. Meanwhile Phil Jiminez all but assures his berth on the super-artist superliner. While there are no moments to beat 'that' Society spread in issue 1, there are a couple that come mighty close. In fact, his work continues to be of such a high standard that it will not surprise me at all if, come the finish of #7, he hurls himself from the tallest tower at DC HQ safe in the knowledge that his work here on Earth Prime is done. Hysteric? Maybe. Hyperbolic? Definitely. But this right here is the most excited I have ever been about a comic and the only thing harshing my considerable buzz is the gnawing sensation in the back of my mind that we will not see its likes again for a long, long time. While Marvel drums up it's decimating Civil War - promising us that the sky will burn, the seas will part and the internet will turn itself inside-out - DC is getting on with the business of actually doing it. For once we, the tired, huddled, embittered and hype-weary comic masses have an event that is actually living up to the hype. Bless you Mr Johns. Bless you.

PLANETARY #24

Written by Warren Ellis

Art by John Cassaday

To use a real life analogy, Planetary is the hottest friend you have. The one who 'doesn't see you that way' but every so often, gets drunk and sleeps with you. And when it's done you're not sure how you should feel. I mean your annoyed because most of the time she never even looks in your direction come closing. Months can go by without even a hint of some satisfaction. But then, just when you think you've forgotten all about it - it happens. And oh lordy it's good. If comic books are life my friends, then Planetary is that hot friend and no matter how much she mistreats us we always come back for more. Dirty little tramps that we are. More literally, we're now in the end game. The tide is indeed nigh and waiting for no man and Elijah Snow is about leave it all on the field (feel my mixed metaphors). Warren Ellis has, over the course of the last 24 maddeningly good/frustratingly tardy issues, put all the pieces in place. Yes, this issue has been counted into that for it is here we see the final preparatory moves. That's a euphemistic way of saying this is all set-up by the way. Though it helps when the set-up is this well-written and well drawn (I love you John Cassaday) not a lot really happens. To return to the analogy it's like your almost at the point of no return with your hot friend when she comes to her senses and says 'let's not do this because it would ruin our friendship'. But fear not, intrepid Planetarians, for I suspect that next time round the friendship is going right out the window.

The Rest Of The Best: 20/1/06

2006-01-20T01:32:00.000Z

THE REST OF THE BEST: 20/1/06

MISTER MIRACLE #3. (Written by Grant Morrison. Art by Freddie E. Williams).

Now the only reason this isn't in the Dogpile is that it may read better once the series has finished. In every other title, Seven Soldiers has been decent to superb - this mini has been the first disappointment. Not only is it the sole title that has yet to satisfy on an issue to issue basis, but it also is the title in which it feels like almost nothing has happened. While the unstable art has also played a factor, Freddie E. Williams' work here is excellent and with him in tow there is yet hope that Morrison can pull of an 'escape' job yet. (Yes I know that's an awful pun. Not even a pun really but this is quite a lot of writing to do in one sitting so it's what you're getting).

GREEN LANTERN #7. (Written by Geoff Johns. Art by Carlos Pacheco).

The Brave and the Bold are reunited proper for the first time since Hal Jordan's return this month as the repenting Green Lantern and the ever-grouchy Green Arrow pick up the slack from Geoff Johns and Alan Heinberg's JLA arc and take on Mongol. It's solid, if unspectacular, stuff elevated somewhat by Pacheco's excellent pencils.

THE FLASH #230. (Written by Joey Cavalieri. Art by Val Semeiks & Joe Cooper).

And so - after 230 issues of high speed drama, laughs and action - this volume of Flash comes to a close. Not with a whimper perhaps, but far from the pulse-pounding conclusion that would do justice to Mark Waid and Geoff John's work with Wally West. Obviously the Crisis played a part on this but surely it would have been better to re-schedule so that John's last issue was THE last issue? This four-part Vandal Savage centered arc was decent but it never surmounted it's obvious fill-in status. In saying that, there is some nice interaction between the various generations of speedster here that is especially poignant given the events of this month's installment of Crisis.

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #13. (Written by Mark Waid. Art by Barry Kitson).

Perhaps the only drawback from all the Crisis-related fun (other than the colossal beating of the bank balance) is that it has overshadowed Waid's excellent work on the Legion. It may still be debatable whether or not all the bathwater needed to go out (and with that poor baby in it too) but what cannot be debated is how successful the writer has been in rebuilding the concept from the ground up. With this issue the first big storyline comes to a close and there is some major pay-off here for those that have stuck with it. There's action aplenty and also some more of the intimate moments that have made it much easier for Legion virgins to get their bearing in Waid's brave new world.

RUNAWAYS #12. (Written by Brian K. Vaughn. Art by Adrian Alphona).

Alongside Young Avengers, this title confirms it is possible to create new characters in the Marvel Universe and have some moderate success. However, the fact that Runaways has not yet been more that moderately successful is both a travesty and a sad indictment of whoever is not yet buying it. Vaughn and Alphona have proved it is possible to carve out your own niche in the continuity while still being respectful to it. Other writers should take note of this. This month, our young heroes finish there West Coast holiday but not before they save the day and have some fun at Wolverine's expense. Which is no bad thing.

ALL STAR SUPERMAN #2. (Written by Grant Morrison. Art by Frank Quitely).

There was a time when I didn't like Frank Quitely. Right after he took over Bryan Hitch on the Authority his work wasn't clicking with me. But then there was also a time when I thought girls were icky. The point is that I got older, both as a comic fan and a human being, and developed appreciations that I did not previously possess. Now I lo-o-o-o-ove Quitely. And girls. Anyhoo, this month's All Star Supes doesn't quite hit it out the park like number one but with some nice Sci-Fi quirk from Morrison and the awesome pencils of you-know-who it's at least a stand-up double - if not a triple depending on how it hit the green monster. If you don't like baseball that means this was great but not astounding. And no I'm not just saying that because they're both fellow Glaswegians.

PUNISHER VS BULLSEYE #3. (Written by Daniel Way. Art by Steve Dillon).

Not much to say about this one. Dillon is excellent as ever, Way still seems a bit too much like he's aping Ennis. Whether that is due to Ennis' hegemony of the character or Way's limitations I am still undecided. Forgettable fun.

X-STATIX PRESENTS: DEAD GIRL #1. (Written by Peter Milligan. Art by Nick Dragotta & Mike Allred).

A welcome return for the mutants that Milligan can write here. X-Statix did lose some steam towards the end of its run but there can be no doubt that the writer's pairing with Mike Allred produced some excellent stuff. It's early days but this first issue suggests the duo are back in the zone that made their takeover of X-Force such a breath of fresh air in the fetid mutant market. As always Allreds turn in some groovy retrofits of familiar favourites while Milligan follows in the footsteps of just about every recent Marvel writer and has some fun at the expense of the oh so pre/por-tentious Dr Strange.

TESTAMENT #2. (Written by Douglas Rushkoff. Art by Liam Sharp).

While it is unclear as yet whether the semi-hysterical quotes at the front of these issues are a clever in-joke or OTT marketing (the latter methinks) the content of the book is a much clearer proposition. It's damn(ed)good. There's some thought-provoking stuff at work here as the writer splits the tale between bible time and the near future, drawing interesting parallels between the two. The art provided by Liam Sharp (where did this guy come from anyway?) is also top-notch and is a little reminiscent of the mighty Frank Quietley - sharing his knack for drawing hot but non-gravity defying women. This is exactly the kind of title that Vertigo should be producing and the emergence of this alongside the recent Exterminators suggest another fine chapter in the imprint's history is just getting started.

The Dogs: 20/11/06

2006-01-20T01:16:00.000Z

THE DOGS: 20/11/06

FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDERMAN #3. (Written by Peter David. Art by Mike Wieringo).

Apologies in advance here to Messrs Weiringo and David. This issue is not in the Dogpile for the art of for the writing, both of which are good if not great. No I'm afraid this is here because it has been tarred with the Other brush. When this 'event' finishes I will hopefully be able to get it together and give a cohesive argument as to how the planning, logistics and execution of this have combined to make it so, so bad. For the moment, suffice it to say it is, and unless the last issue is the biggest doozy since Infinite Crisis #4 I suspect I will be kicking off on the Other as a whole sometime soon.

UNCANNY X-MEN #468. (Written by Chris Claremont. Art by Chris Bachalo).

Now this is hard. My Crisis geekgasm and my Geoff Johns love notwithstanding, I'm an X-boy through and through. A good third of my entire comic collection is mutant-based. I love these characters. So when I say that this is the worst the core x-titles have ever been, you can be assured that I do it with a sense of perspective. While the travesties wreaked by Milligan are the subject for another review, Claremont is front and centre for this one. Now don't get me wrong, Uncanny is the house that Claremont built. No one has delivered the tales of the X they way he did during his prime years. However it now seems the once proud architect is roaming the halls of his homestead and pissing on the furniture. This issue concludes a two-parter focusing on Rachel Grey. Or Rachel Grey Summers. Or Marvel Girl. Or Phoenix Mark II. Whatever she's called. The point is that this character is now almost a metaphor for Claremont's work on the title itself.

Even at the beginning, Rachel Grey had one of the most convoluted conceptions in the history of comics. Now after layer upon layer of continuity and happenstance has been cemented on top of her there is no real character left. Just a collection of crappy circumstances built on to the least pro-active chassis in comics. Since her entire existence has been a retread of Jean Grey anyway, and given her inability to do even one positive thing on her own behalf, shouldn't she really be dead by now? To further exacerbate the already exacerbated, between these covers we find bad Bachallo art not good Bachallo art. The difference for those who aren't familiar with his work it is the difference between being able to tell what's going on and not really having a clue.

Bigger Boat Hall Of Fame #2

2006-01-16T22:08:00.000Z

BIGGER BOAT HALL OF FAME #2

Guns 'N' Roses "Appetite For Destruction"

This is the absolute everlastin' electrifyin' death defying motherlovin' fuckin' shit. The only album I own that come rain, shine or shitstorm makes me feel glad that I'm squeezing out on existence on this god awful excuse for a planet. Give me an empty flat, this album and a steady supply of Jack and Coke and all the other crap just... goes away. Sure it's only for 60 minutes but in a bankrupt world populated by idiots, morons and religious nutbags any true escape you have left should be clasped to your bosom like an old grenade with the pin out and a rusty trigger.

Now here's the question... How does an album created by five loveless scumbags in a hole in West Hollywood in the 80's mean so much to me - a guy who has about as much in common with the perpetrators as he does with Dame Barbara Cartland? Sure, part of it is wish fulfillment. I don't do drugs, I rarely drink these days and the up-all-night any-hole-will-do sexual shenanigans of the Gunners is, frankly, completely alien to me. So is it all about escapism? Getting my jollies from hearing 5 guys details exploits that, odds are, I'll never experience. I don't think so. If that were the case that just about any metal album from the late 80's would get the job done. Poison, Warrant, Skid Row,Motley Crue, The Bulletboys, Faster Pussycat et al all sang from a similar hymn sheet. Besides, Guns 'N' Roses had one thing that the rest of that lacked. Authenticity. Stadiums, orchestras, lighter waiving ballads and (god help us) bicycle shorts would be in their future but at the time of Appetite these were guys who legitimately walked/drank/snorted it like they talked it.

When they sang about gettin' on the Nightrain the subject was not some semi-metaphorical rock rollercoaster but the cheap wine that was the only booze they could afford. Not only did they dance with Mr Brownstone, they bought him dinner, walked him home, then humped him senseless in an alley behind the rehearsal studio. And the orgasmic moans you here at the start of Rocket Queen are authentic. Someone set up a mike and Axl went for it with some willing tramp right there on the control desk. Every note, every lyric, every drop of blood, sweat or whatever that comes out the speakers when you put this baby on was right there in studio. Even the supposedly soppy ballad was laced with attitude. Compare Sweet Child O' Mine with similarly efforts like Poison's Every Rose Has a Thorn or Warrant's Heaven they're not just from different places - they're from different galaxies. Part of the credit for this goes to Axl whose lyrics (even when seemingly sweet on the surface) always have a dark edge that betrays the singer misanthropy and hair-trigger temper. But the main credit goes to guitar genius Slash who hated the song so much that, three quarters of the way through, he purposely tries to self-destruct it with some of the most vicious playing he ever put down. The irony of course being that his efforts elevate the song from cursory ballad to genuine classic. Though I have no real authority on the subject for my money the song contains the single-greatest solo ever committed to record - and the only one that I can sing along to note-for-note.

Every so often I'll get into one of those concoct your own supergroup kind of discussions and will be ultimately forced to admit that, although Keith Richards, Bonham and Dave Lee Roth come close, my uber group is the original line-up of Guns 'N' Roses. The chemistry these five guys created, inadvertently or not, on this album has never been equaled. Axl wasn't the greatest vocalist (though he is top five) but he was without a doubt the most compelling. No-one has ever sounded more like the meant what they were singing. Not even the singer himself on later albums. I have been told by many a drummer, and many an other musician, that Steven Adler was barely even proficient at his instrument. This is conclusive proof that the further the mastery of your instrument goes, the less you understand it. As members of the band have subsequently admitted, Adler's drumming had a unique feeling - a sense of swing that ensures songs from Appetite continue to fill dancefloors in rock clubs and beyond throughout the world. For proof you need only listen to the cast-iron booty-shaking grooves of Mr Brownstone and Rocket Queen. He was ably abetted by Duff McKagan, whose punk origins give his playing a drive and a leanness that curtailed the excesses which would later destroy the band.

By far Appetite's greatest pull though, is the guitar playing of Izzy Stradlin and Slash. Throughout the album, their lines circle each other like two guys in a knife fight, each taking turns to be the aggressor but never leaving the listener in any doubt as to who is playing what. There is an interplay between the two that even Richards and Wood never matched. Of all the guys who ever tried to be Keith Richards, Stradlin came the closest while Slash simultaneously manages to be the most technical and the most punk guitarist you ever heard. Listen to the way the two guitars snarl and snap at each other on Welcome To The Jungle, or the way they team up and hit you head-on for the pulverising riff of Paradise City. They would never be this good again (with the exception of the opening single to the Use Your Illusion albums You Could Be Mine which is the only song they recorded subsequently that was good enough to find a place on Appetite).

If the greatest crime a musician can ever commit is pandering, and it is is - especially when they try and hide it - then Guns 'N' Roses are the most innocent band of all time. The sound of Appetite is the sound of five guys in a room who do not give a flying fuck what anybody else wants to hear or what anyone else thinks and whose only desire is to take take all their influences and spit them back in the face of every lame, wan, fey limp-wristed, sucker of satan's cock who ever played from anything other than their heart. The true artist serves only themselves and in respect Axl, Slash, Duff, Izzy and Steven are true artists. The best album ever made? You better fucking believe it. And what was I listening to as I wrote this? Do you even need to ask?

BB: The Dogs 12/1/06

2006-01-13T01:55:00.000Z

THE DOGS 12/1/06

JLA #124. (Written by Bob Harras. Art by Tom Derenick).

Only one for the pile this week but, as if to make up for it, it's pretty darn Doggy. Much like the current run on Flash this storyline reeks of biding time until One Year Later starts. Although ostensibly linked to Crisis nothing is happening here that will have any affect on the wider landscape. That's not a bad thing by itself, but if it was this bad and it had some heavy duty Crisis overtones there would at least be a reason to buy it. While the villain here does have some (theoretical) menace it is devalued by the petty playground arguments between Asshole Batman and Whinyman Green Arrow. Throw in the topsy-turvy, bendy-wendy, 'proportions? what are they?' art and you get £1.80 that could have got me a bog-standard (but still better that reading this) sandwich.

BB: Rest Of The Best 12/1/06

2006-01-13T00:29:00.000Z

Bigger Boat: Rest Of The Best 12/1/06

Desolation Jones #5. (Written by Warren Ellis. Art by J.H Williams)

In recent times Warren Ellis has been a bit more hit and miss than I would like but with the adventures of 'professional bastard' Desolation Jones he's in the kind of form that made Transmetropolitan one of the bestest comics ever. There's been some real jaw-dropping stuff from J.H Williams thus far as well. This is the penultimate issue of the first storyline and we find Jones is in the mood for some real violence after taking a bullet of unknown origin last time round. And when he finds those responsible you can be sure Williams makes the pain look oh so pretty!

Exiles #75. (Written by Tony Bedard. Art by Jim Calafiore)

I may have said this before but I'll say it again regardless - outside of Whedon's this is the best x-book on the stands. Characters we care about written and drawn by people who care about the characters, who'd a thunk that would work eh Marvel? Anyhoo, our intrepid Exiles are still hot on the trail of Proteus and the next stop on their sales-failure World Tour is the 2099 universe. It's great stuff but where are the 2099 X-men?

Ultimate X-Men #66. (Written by Robert Kirkman. Art by Tom Raney)

We're rolling with the new at casa del Ultimate as Robert Kirkman takes a shot at the runt of the litter. For whatever reason, barring Millar's first couple of arcs, this has never hit the heights of Ultimate Spiderman (or even Ultimate Fantastic Four based on its excellent recent issues). So the question of the day is, can Kirkman make the difference? Answer? Too early to tell but the early signs are encouraging as we spend some time with the actual X-men as opposed to whoever's trying to kill them now. Raney's turning in work comparable to his excellent Outsiders too, so we can but hope.

New X-Men #22. (Written by Craig Kyle & Chris Yost. Art by Mark Brooks).

I could go either way with this one. While the first two issues under the new team of Kyle and Yost were promising, there's some stuff here that doesn't sit so well. The animosity between Emma Frost and X-23 feels a bit out of the blue and the back and forth flashbacks are starting to get a little annoying. However this is still the title that seems to be benefiting the most from the Decimation debacle as 'No More Mutants' really starts to hit home with some of the series regulars. Brooks meanwhile, handles the large cast well and the tribute to the X-costumes of yesteryear are a hoot.

Ultimate Extinction #1. (Written by Warren Ellis. Art by Brandon Peterson)

This very nearly went into the Dogs pile but as it's Ellis and it's the first issue it has a stay of execution. After two mini series (plus the Vision back-up) of build up you could be forgiven for expecting something big. This is the only Marvel title at the moment comparable to Infinite Crisis but while the first issue of that series had some genuine 'wow' moments this has, to be honest, not much of anything. We get a slightly more specific re-iteration that when 'Gah Lak Tus' (and oh lordy that annoys me) turns up everybody is screwed and then we spend some time with the newly-minted Ultimate Misty Knight. While her detective work does, eventually, turn up a surprising link to the impending threat - and a possible link to an Ultimate villain Ellis has already had a crack at - for the impatient amongst us it's a little annoying. Lets see some Extinction dagnammit! This will undoubtedly read better as a trade but as a single issue it comes mighty close to failing all together. Peterson's work is solid if a little heavy on the shading but given the problems with artists that this event has already had we should just cross our fingers he does all six issues.

BB: The Burton Award 12/1/06

2006-01-12T22:55:00.000Z

A short week this week, by my own normal 'you buy how many comics?' standards anyway. So without further ado

The Burton Award (Best Of The Week) 12/1/06

SHE-HULK #4

Writer - Dan Slott

Artist - Scott Kollins

Dan Slott has been praised, and rightly so, for bringing some of the fun back to comics in these rape-ridden times. His goofy and carefree takes on Spiderman and the Thing have made him the go-to guy for comic fans tired of so called 'modern comics' where even the greatest of heroes seem hopelessly compromised. This acclaim may be deserved, but it has threatened to see Slott pigeonholed as a one-trick horsey - good for the funny and very little else. However his work on books like the GLA and She-Hulk belies this one track view. With it's pitch black humour and motley cast of morons the former could easily be a Vertigo title, while if you substituted the latter's Marvel mainstays with original characters you would have a fresh and quirky indie number. Although with that said, the first 3 issues of the new volume of She-Hulk have been a little disappointing. The Hawkeye 2 parter still contained the superhero legalese that I hope for Slott's sake he has patented, but it seemed to lack some of the vip and vim (and other made up words) that made the first volume stand out from the House of Ideas pack. And while the 3rd/100th 'anniversary' issue had its moments it also suffered from the messiness and lack of focus that multi-artist extravaganzas always seem to. As luck would have it (and as the Burton Award may already have given away) this issue sees the Slottster get back on track. Light on the fun and frolics, this issue gives us a done-in-one tale that examines the real-life repercussions of a 'Hulk smash!' rampage on Smalltown USA. Further pathos is added when we discover that it is not the not-so-jolly green giant that is responsible for the carnage, but the titular titan of the title. Getting under Shulkie's gamma-irradiated skin has been one of the hallmarks of Slott's run and this may be his most successful issue so far. Scott Kollins picks up the art baton this time round and he turns in some solid work. However, and I say this a massive fan of his time on Flash, it is Juan Bobillo's art that has become synonymous with the title in my mind and it will be great to have him back in future issues.

100 BULLETS #68

Writer - Brian Azzarello

Artist - Eduardo Risso

Now I will discuss 100 Bullets at length but I'll be honest up front. The only reason this gets a Burton is the last page. For those of you, like me, that have been with Azzarello since the start of this mazy, mazy story the last page represents one of those of pay-offs that can only be provided by serialized fiction. If you are not reading 100 Bullets this is by no means a jumping on point. It is the series greatest strength and its Achilles heel that, thanks to the dense plotting and terse, noir style dialogue, the only real jumping on point is the first issue. It's well worth it though. Azzarello has created an epic mystery here that demands (and rewards) repeated reading to get a proper grasp of it. Though there are moments when the labyrinth plot and the for-the-trade pacing threaten to overwhelm you (reading it as a monthly can be a bewildering experience) there is always Eduardo Risso's art to keep you hanging on. There are more detailed artists out there, but when it comes to mood and expression the artist has few competitors. With the aid of Patricia Mulvihill's colours, Risso insures that even when you don't understand or can't remember what's going on you keep reading anyway.

Bigger Boat:Waited For The Trade #1

2006-01-11T23:51:00.000Z

BIGGER BOAT: WAITED FOR THE TRADE #1

As I said in my opening post, I buy a lot of comics. However quantity does not always mean quality and there are times when I miss things. On occasions such as these good reviews or recommendations may lead me to pick up the collection. As was the case with...

EX MACHINA: TAG.

Writer - Brian K. Vaughn.

Artist - Tony Harris

Being a comic fan is a funny thing. If you are like me then part of the fun of being a fan of stuff (be it books, films, music or whatever) is introducing other people to the particular stuff that rocks your boat. Now, with a book or a movie or an album you are trying to convince people of the legitimacy of that particular item. While you may have a hard time if the person involved isn't a fan of the genre, or of whoever created it, it is very rare that you have to justify the format itself. How many times have you ever insisted someone see the new Spielberg movie and they've said 'a film? Aren't they just for children?'. Or how about trying to get someone to read the Da Vinci Code only to be told 'I'm sorry, I just don't like books'?. Because in the case of comics, more often than not, these are the kind of responses you will get. Before you can sell them on the story you have to sell them on comics as a viable art form.

Probably the biggest reason for this is the spandex. It is the medium's boon and its curse that in the public eye (the western eye at least) comics have become synonymous with the four-colour, two dimensional antics of the superhero. Now we comic fans know that this stereotype is far from fair. And if we come across doubting Tom's or Tammy's we have weapons in our comic arsenal to combat it. Weapons that will allow us to say "aha! Just flying guys in their underwear eh? Well stick this in your metaphorical pipe and (metaphorically) smoke it!" In my case, the comic bombs I like to drop are Garth Ennis' Preacher, Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan and Jeff Smith's Bone. These may not be the best comics ever (well Preacher is and you'll see why in a future Bigger Boat Hall Of Fame) but I think that all 3 prove that comics can be just as entertaining, just as intelligent and just as interesting as any fim or book. If not more so.

Now, if your still with me, the point of the long and unwieldy introduction is that Ex-Machina may soon join that list. Brian K. Vaughn nearly made the payload already with Y: The Last Man but I think that particular work is just slightly too geeky to be your opening assault on the closed minded. However this bad boy is the very thing for the unwilling and the uninitiated. Following the day-to-day life of New York City Mayor and former costumed hero Mitchell Hundred, Ex-Machina mixes politics, action and sci-fi weirdness into a tasty, heady taffy. I'm not fond of trite analogies but for the purposes of selling stuff to the layperson they can be handy so here goes - it's Spin City meets the X-Files (ugh).

In this second collection (the first was titled The First Hundred Days and is equally good) Vaughan manages to squeeze in murder, gore, history, new layers to the deepening mystery over the lead character's powers and and discourse on real-life political hot potatoes like gay marriage and school vouchers. It's an impressive balancing act, but it must be a damn sight easier when you have an artist like Tony Harris on board. As he did with the much missed Starman, Harris gives this title a unique look and feel. The action moments are conveyed admirably, but it is the individual character that he brings to the scenes featuring the Mayor and his staff that really impresses.

(For the hell of it, and because I fear I have become too serious as this has went on, I'll finish this the way I finished my book reviews in Primary school...)

All in all this is a very good book and I would give it nine out of ten and I will tell all of my friends to read it because it has a good story and good characters and I think it will be liked by them all and I'm sure I will read it again too.

Bigger Boat Hall Of Fame

2006-01-09T16:13:00.000Z

Hello. Welcome to the first in a semi-regular (i.e when it occurs to me) feature where I pay tribute to the best stuff in the history of ever. That's right, welcome to the...

BIGGER BOAT HALL OF FAME #1

John Carpenter's The Thing.

Director - John Carpenter

Writer(s) - John W. Campbell Jr. (story)Bill Lancaster (screenplay)

Cinematographer - Dean Cundey

Here we have it. Pound for pound, punch for punch, push comes to shove (and lot's of other cliches that begin with 'p') the greatest horror movie ever made. You can take your Exorcist's, your Suspiria's and your Chainsaw's and you can put them somewhere else. This is numero uno baby. It's also the best remake ever. The Howard Hawk's original is fun but this blows it right out of the water. Or snow.

First, lets talk setting. A remote outpost in the middle of the Antartic. Twelve guys isolated from everyone and everything with only computer chess and videos of gameshows to keep them entertained. If anything goes wrong these guys are on their own. Luckily for us they do. Very, very wrong. Turns out that millions of years ago an alien ship crashed in the frozen wastes. Contents? One nasty, shape-shifting extra-terrestrial just waiting to be thawed out by some idiot Norwegians. And so the fun begins.

It's a good set-up sure, but in the hands of many directors it could have been straight-up Friday late night fare. A few scares, a few shocks, a gruesome death or two, the punters go home happy and instantly forget what they've just seen. A freeze-dried Friday The 13th if you will. Luckily we are in the reliable mitts of John Carpenter. At this point in a run of form that had seen him already knock out Assault On Precinct 13, Halloween, The Fog and Escape From New York, this was a man at the peak of his directorial powers. Under his steely gaze a B-Movie chassis has some real A-Class horsepower under the hood. Part of the credit for this has to go to Cinematographer Dean Cundey. Later to lens Jurassic Park for Spielberg, he makes the most of the genuine Arctic-style setting (actually the still-pretty-cold Stewart, British Columbia) mixing some striking on-location shots with some nimble interior work that makes the most of the claustrophobic sets.

Cast-wise, it's spot-on. Nothing flashy, just solid character acting from guys like Wilford Brimley, Keith David and Richard Masur. All of whom would go on to identify this as the highpoint of their on-screen lives. And then we have Kurt Russell. He had already given us one of cinema's greatest anti-heroes in Snake Pliskin, and soon he would give us the greatest hero in the history of cinema in Jack Burton. In between he would give us R.J MacReady. A chopper-flyin', cowboy hat wearing dude of the first order. Responsible for the second best line in the movie ("Cheatin' bitch") and the beard I am currently sporting today, his laconic cool fits the movie like a well thought out accessory. Like a funky hat or a really nice belt.

Now, let's talk effects. Real solid effects - not the CGI crap that 99% of movies try to fob us off with these days. Step forward Rob Bottin who almost single-handedly provided the gruesome creature work that give the movie it's visceral thrills. He was 22 when he did this. 22! I'm 23 now and I've done absolutely nothing. My that's depressing. Anyhoo... Where was I? Oh yes, effects. From the many-headed dog monster to the head with spider legs he creates images that you will not be able to forget. No matter how much you may want to. In fact, the scene with the spider legs also sets up the best line in the movie - "You have got to be fucking kidding me". It makes sense in context kids.

No list of the movie's majesties would be complete without a mention of the score. A work of brooding, ominous, bass-heavy genius by Ennio Morricone. It's one of the few Carpenter movies that isn't self-scored but, hey, if your gonna give up to anyone it might as well be Morricone (a line I'm sure the great composer must have used more than once himself to seal the deal with the ladies). Within the first few seconds it's this score that sets the icy tone that permeates the whole movie.

So then, The Thing. If you haven't seen it, watch it. If you don't own it, buy it. If you haven't seen it on the big screen, pester your local fleapit until they show it. If you have ever bemoaned Carpenter's more recent work remember he made this and you didn't. And if you think this was a reacharound for the director, wait until you seen my review of Big Trouble In Little China.

Comic Reviews for 6/1/06

2006-01-07T20:26:00.000Z

THE BURTON AWARD (Best Of The Week).

INFINITE CRISIS SPECIAL: DAY OF VENGEANCE.

Writer - Bill Willingham.

Artist - Justiniano.

This will quickly become apparent but I am aaaaall aboard the Crisis bandwagon. Have picked up damn near everything to do with it. Of the four crisis mini's Day Of Vengeance was second only to Villains United as the pick of the bunch. Interesting characters (none of whom I had heard of prior to the series), genuine suspense and quality art abounded. The special continues in this vein but offers the one thing that the mini arguably lacked... a resolution. Not big on plot recaps so the gist is that the Spectre is still running around all vengeance-y and the now hostless Doctor Fate puts a plan in motion to deal with him. The plan involves the freshly-minted Shadowpact and just about magical character in the DCU - which leads to an awesome vertical splash page where Justiniano shows us every single one of them and Willingham helpfully tells those of us who are not Geoff Johns or Mark Waid who they all are. We can but hope that all of the Crisis specials are as good as this.

SEVEN SOLDIERS: FRANKENSTEIN #2.

Writer - Grant Morrison.

Artist - Doug Mahnke.

Speaking of bandwagons, I'm ridin'' shotgun on this one. Morrison is in perhaps the best form of his comic book writing career. In recent months he has hit us with WE3, Vinamarama and the sublime All Star Superman. And throughout it all he has been rattling off the Seven Soldiers mini's with an ease that, quite frankly, makes me want to puke buckets. While it remains to be seen how well they tie together, each title has been a compelling read in its own right and Frankenstein may well be the best of the lot. Part of the credit for this goes to the artist. Assuming both penciling and inking duties, as he did with the excellent The Man Who Laughs Batman one-shot, Mahnke excels - giving us a muscular and unique monster that references the classic Universal incarnation and adds some really cool modern touches. Plot-wise, the action has shifted from the suburban nightmare of last issue to the desolate plains of Mars where our (anti?) hero is hot on the trail of a villain that Seven Soldiers readers have seen before. Morrison tells much of the story here in Dante-esque narrative captions which, combined with Mahnke's gritty pencils, gives the issue an impressive sense of mood and foreboding. Plus, as the with the first issue, old Franky opens a righteous can of Shelly-shaped whoop-ass come the issues end that cancels out any threat of pretension with some top quality violence.

THE EXTERMINATORS

Writer - Simon Oliver

Artist - Tony Moore

Now this is interesting. An ongoing series about Rentokil rent-a-cops, from a first-time comic writer? That's a hard sell and no mistake. Luckily, The Exterminators, is more than good enough to outweigh the somewhat unappealing concept. First and foremost in its favour is the fantastic art from Tony Moore. While his replacements on Robert Kirkman's Walking Dead have done an admirable job there can be no doubt that the series lost something with Moore's departure. And the dead's loss is the Exterminator's gain. His detailed lines bring Oliver's off-kilter world to vivid life, contrasting the mundanity of the title character's normal existence with the grotesqueries that greet him when he clocks in. Meanwhile Oliver holds his end up with deft dialogue and some intriguing character work that suggests the workers of Bug-Bee-Gone are just as beastly as their insectiod opponents. Throw in a plot about some 'roided up roaches and I'm praying this sells enough so that we can find out where the hell it's going.

THE REST OF THE BEST

Supreme Power: Nighthawk #5. (Written by Daniel Way. Art by Steve Dillon).

Daniel Way is writing an awful lot of titles for Marvel right now. But while the jury (well, me) is still out on Wolverine until something actually happens and Punisher Vs Bullseye seems like Ennis-lite he is rocking the house with his balls out approach to Nighthawk. In this issue our cracker-hating hero goes toe-to-toe with the Supreme Power Joker analogue and it's bloody, brutal and brilliant. Throw in the sick/sublime pencils of the mighty Steve Dillon and what more could you ask for?

Y The Last Man #41. (Written by Brian K. Vaughn. Art by Goran Sudzuka).

The best Vertigo book on the stands continues to chug along. Y seems to be in that groove now that the really great books in this line always muster. This month we get an agent 355 origin tale, framed by our hardy band's encounter with some peckish cannibals. (Yorick: "Soylent Green! Soylent fucking Green!"). If your a fan then you'll enjoy the peek into 355's past. If your not picking this up.. WHY THE HELL NOT?!!

Marvel Zombies #2. (Written by Robert Kirkman. Art by Sean Phillips).

Speaking of cannibals... (How's that for a link?). If Robert Kirkman wants to be stereotyped as 'that zombie guy' he's going about it the right away. While the first issue was fun I did wonder how the premise of hungry, hungry heroes would sustain 5 issues. Now I have an answer. Marvel zombies Vs... Galactus! Eureka!! Bring It On!!!Special mention too for the excellent dessicated corpse tribute to famous covers of yesteryear.

The Punisher #29. (Written by Garth Ennis. Art by Leandro Fernandez).

Whether you prefer the comedy death Punisher (and who could forget death by Polar Bear?) or the Max, deadly serious Punisher, you now have to admit that Garth Ennis is THE great writer of the character. We are hurtling towards the conclusion of the Slavers arc and it seems these crazy Balkans have nearly pissed-off Frank as much as the pesky Mafia goombas that murdered his family. I predict... Pain! Plus, this issue contains possibly the most brutal dispatching of a villain I have ever seen. Kudos to you Mr Fernandez.

JSA #81. (Written by Geoff Johns. Art by Dale Eaglesham).

One of these days Geoff Johns is going to write a bad issue of a comic. This isn't it, but law of averages says he has to write one sometime. Now while Mr Johns has proved himself adept at this whole episodic superhero malarkey, it's his one-off issues (both on this title and on his genius Flash run) that really linger in the mind. This tales centres on the family life of the ever-perky Stargirl and once again he demonstrates his superhuman ability to accommodate and inform the newbie while rewarding the continuity geek. Even better, the Shade makes a brief appearance. Starman fans rejoice! Non-Starman fans face the corner.

MARVEL TEAM-UP #16. (Written by Robert Kirkman. Art by Paco Medina).

Warming up nicely thank you. While the initial issues of this series sputtered, the current League Of Losers arc is a much tastier proposition. Like Dan Slott on She-Hulk and The Thing, Kirkman is reminding readers that there are more than 5 characters in the Marvel Universe and benefiting muchly from it. The series is also reaping the rewards of a regular penciller of the caliber of Paco Medina.

NEW EXCALIBUR #3. (Written by Chris Claremont. Art by Michael Ryan)

The first arc of the New New New New Excalibur ends and for the first time in a while I can give something written by Chris Claremont a tentative thumbs-up. It's not great but compared to his recent work on Uncanny, the last Excalibur series and the jaw-slackening car crash that is X-Men:The End (more on that later)I'll settle for solid superheroics. Still not a 100% convinced by Ryan either but they've done enough to keep me aboard for the moment. One request please... No more S&M X-Men.

TEEN TITANS #31. (Written by Geoff Johns. Art by Tony Daniel).

Again we return to the ubiquitous Mr Johns. Not content with patching the continuity holes in Crisis and Green Lantern, he now provides an explanation for the return from the grave of so many DC heroes. And a decent one it is too. Not sure if Kid Eternity is a new character or not but he's cool as hell regardless. It's just a shame that the issue is dragged down by the Captain Carrot story crowbarred in for no reason whatsoever and, even worse, my most peeving of pet hates, the mid-issue fill-in artist. When Daniel's art is there it's fine but there's still a Mike McCone shaped hole in this title.

THE DOGS (As in ugly and miserable, not the bollocks, as in good).

OUTSIDERS #32. (Written by Jen Van Meter. Art by Matthew Clark & Dietrich Smith).

Now a mid-issue fill-in artist is annoying enough, but a mid-issue fill-in artist PLUS(!) a fill in writer, in the MIDDLE OF A STORYLINE. What in the name of holey moley is that? Oh, did I also mention that damn near nothing happens? I feel violated. And not in the good money on the mantelpiece when it's over kind of way. Furthermore, how long is it taking Donna Troy taking to get to the Rann-Thanagar war? The thing will be over by the time she gets there. I like these characters and I like this title but we all deserve better.

THE X-MEN 198 FILES. (Written by People. Art by Other People).

Stop laughing. STOP LAUGHING damn you! I know it's my own hopless x-geek fault for buying it but c'mon. Here's the Skinny. Thanks to the (crack-ish) Scarlet Witch there are now an arbitrary number of arbitrary mutants left. Being the mutant sycophant that I am I wanted to know who they are. Combine perfunctory, far from sufficient explanations of the mutants left, randomly reprinted art and god-awful in character chat and what do you get? £2.85 and 30 minutes of my life that I'm never getting back. Thank you Marvel. Excelsior!! (Sob!!!).

And there it is. There were other titles out but I didn't buy them. Should I have? This took way longer than I thought it would. I hope to Buggery (the god of Volkswagen) someone reads this.

In The Beginning...

2006-01-07T20:01:00.000Z

...there was nothing. Obviously. Anyhoo. My name is birrellesque. No really. It is. I swear. (Well not really). The main aim/purpose/point of this here Blog is the reviewing of stuff. Mainly comics as I have looked around the Interweb and there are vey few good, straight up, review sites for comics. So that's what this will be. Hopefully. This is my first time Blogging (should that have a capital?) so I suspect it will take me a while to get used to the technology. Bear with me in other words.

Now to the comics. I am currently buying somewhere in the region of £100 worth of comics a month. The majority are Marvel (in particular the X-Men which I am a hopeless bed-wetting geek for) but I buy a fair amount of DC as well. Not so much with the Indie stuff though that is a situation I am trying to rectify. I tend to buy my comics on a thursday (yes I am that pathetic, though it's not like I'm outside before it opens... Well not all the time) so the aim is to have the reviews up by the Friday.

And away we go...